i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
