i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize