What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i want to swaddle you in tequila
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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