I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
