what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
