You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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