So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
