whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
