marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
