I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
