So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
