jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
