i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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