Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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