There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
