and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
