If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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