after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
