She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
