She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
