Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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