he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize