I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
