YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
