i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
