he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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