i jhust puked up my retainher.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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