Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
