FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Drunk is not a location!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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