Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize