when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
