i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
