He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
