So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
