I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
