there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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