my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
