Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
