You're so nebulous sometimes
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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