So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
