Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Randomize
