he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
