I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
