someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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