An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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