I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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