we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
