i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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