i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
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I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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