Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Congratulations! We have a period
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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