I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
