at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
