its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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