Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
