You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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