That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
