He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
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I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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