I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
