They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize