Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I smell like Dick and happiness
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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