operation harelip BJ is a go
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
