Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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