I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
