whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
how drunk are you?
Several
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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