this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
