Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
